and if I do love someone, it’s a priceless gift the lucky bearer can have.

Tried their Epic Salad and Blue Marlin.  I also tried their Epic burger before and it was good

Budget: 200-500 per meal per person

—

In a relationship, married or not… You should read this.
Marriage.

“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed – dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”

Testing the 5 megapixel camera of HTC under low light conditions.

We were hangin out at Opus bar and saw a nice angle for this shot.  I didn’t bring my camera so I opted to use my HTC chacha and was surprised to get a really decent photo out of it.

Since my boy is out of town to reach 2000 college students HPw to blog,  I am left by my lonesome. I was supposed to go to a beach but my body hurts and I’m afraid I won’t be able to drive well. 

I decided to visit my favorite Bacolod CHicken house restaurant here at The Fort but it was closed

My next option was Red Ribbon. 

I ordered the grilled Liempo which included pineapple juice and Chocolate Fudge cake.

Grilled liempo was good and the cake was awesome!

Price for the meal: P160

—-

So, I took an online quiz to see if I might be clinically depressed.  I scored a 65 and I was surprised myself.

am I just pms-ing again? I was fine yesterday.. but today, I just feel extremely low.  Is it just hormones and some weird body chemistry?

TBH, I don’t find meaning in life anymore.  I’m just living and I don’t want to commit suicide because that is my promise to the people who loves me.  I will endure all the pain for people I love, wag lang sila masaktan through my actions.  I don’t want to dissappoint them.

I don’t like this materialistic world anymore… There is too much pressure to succeed in career, to earn money, to stay pretty   I have been in many competitions in my life… games and in real life.  It started when parents compare me to children of their friends who are working for this multinational company earning millions now to classmates pressuring me to do stuff and to boyfriends who think I’m not working smart.

heck, it’s tiring!

I fully understand that I may feel like trash today but I know I have many skills that can help other people.  I feel inspired to spend my time helping others, but for now I just feel down. no appetite, my tummy is crunching. i’m thirsty, but i don’t want to drink water.  Do I want to feel pain? maybe… maybe pain is better than feeling nothing huh?

I’m not like this before. or not even yesterday I felt super fine.

IDK what triggered this. maybe realizing once again that I don’t have a job.  seeing friends moving on with their lives. me, i’m stuck in whatever this thing I’m at

I’m better than this…  I know I am… but please allow me to pour my emotions for now.

I was thinking of going back corporate, but if I do, I have to work abroad.  Working corporate is depressing here.

If I do find a job here in the Philippines, I want it to be something with a purpose.  I don’t care much about money.  I’d want to work for charities or other non-profit companies or social enterprises.  Anything that I will find some meaning on. and not just a 9-5 job I’d be depressed on

I’m scared.

I wish someone would just hold my hand right now and say to me that everything will be fine

I dreamt about you one night.  It was a terrible dream.  We broke up and I was crying so loud and I could feel the pain of losing you.

In the morning you mentioned I was sleep crying and you asked what it was I was dreaming.. I never mentioned it to you.

We had a fight today.  Not because I was mad at you, but because I was mad and confused at myself like I’m going nowhere and I’m not achieving anything.  I know that you just support me in anything I do – all the way.  But I am just not focusing on myself even.

I needed your guidance.  I am always awkward at asking other people’s help and I’m even shy to ask help from you.

I know I’m good at many things and I am better than this.  Just confused and unfocused – that’s what I am now.  Thank you for always challenging me.

I need you and I love you.  And I want you to stay…

It’s actually pretty good. It’s not only covered in Cocoa but also white sweet milk. It’s good for breakfast, cold weather and sick people. It’s only 45 pesos!

Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.

Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.

I wasn’t scared.  A weird thought occurred to me though.  He wasn’t really floating obviously but he was holding on the the strings of web he made.

I can’t help but wonder… How does he do it? How do they do it? How do spiders just secrete these flexible, sticky and sturdy strings on their own?  What are they eating?

Can scientists recreate a spider web in their laboratories? 

Or have they?

Don’t mind me, I’m just documenting my weird thought of the day.